I'll Love You, Another Time
by Jacksgirl217
Summary: "I'm frightened, Aerith." He had said; his back to her, his gaze out the window. "He's never been gone this long before." Aerith contemplates Leon, his smile and his love for Cloud. Warm and fluffy CLC!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is not beta'd I'm afraid. Sneakyrevenant is quite busy at the moment and I didn't want to burden her with this, plus I wanted to get this up as quickly as I could. I've read, re-read, checked and re-checked this thing like a gazillion times so hopefully there won't be any mistakes. But if you do find any, they're all mine.**

**This is a different kind of fic for me and not just because it's a fluffy piece either. I decided to try and challenge myself and see if I could write a fanfiction about Leon and Cloud and their intensely private and complicated relationship, without actually using them as the main characters. Because I know these guys so well, writing them becomes easy in a way, so I wanted to try and shift not only my writing style but also challenge what I think I know about them. Also, I've never written Aerith before and I kind of really like her in a, if she were real she'd be my friend, kind of way. I also like to think that she's the sort of gal who can drink whiskey!**

**Happy reading and much love.**

**Endurance **

Aerith had thought many times before how beautiful Leon was, and how beautiful he would look when he smiled - truly smiled. The problem was, he never did and that thought bothered her more than any other when it came to Leon.

She had no idea what it would take, especially these days, to cause him to beam with laughter.

No one could have predicted Cloud disappearing would have had such an effect, least of all on Leon. The exact perimeters of their relationship and the depth of their feelings only became obvious once Cloud had been missing for well over three months.

It had started out as a tense sort of silence that emanated from the stoic brunette in times when he thought no one else was watching him. Aerith often found him staring out the window or off into the distance when they worked outside. It had taken her a month and all of her intuition to figure out that he was keeping an eye out for Cloud; a very anxious eye.

Once Cloud's disappearance had become uncharacteristically long and Leon's anxiety had reached critical mass, she finally decided to breach the topic with the older man.

As soon as she had asked the question she knew she was in way over her head. She had wondered whether she was actually going to see the indestructible Leon break down. That was something no one would have bet on and something she was definitely not prepared for.

He had clutched his coffee mug so hard she thought it might shatter, before agitation and long months of inaction made him stand up and pace the kitchen. It was early and the rest of the house had yet to stir, but as usual, Aerith and Leon where the first to rise.

"I'm frightened, Aerith." He had said; his back to her, his gaze out the window. "He's never been gone this long before."

He had run a shaky hand through his choppy locks and sighed a deep and troubled sigh.

Aerith had never seen him so affected… by anything…ever.

"What if he never comes back?"

He had said the words that everyone had been thinking, and in voicing his own secret fears it appeared as though he had given wings to everyone else's. Suddenly it seemed incredibly likely that Cloud might not come back and that something terrible had befallen him, somewhere dark and lonely and far away from home; such is the way with fear.

It didn't take long for Leon to announce that he was leaving. He blurted it out one evening after dinner, in the silence that comes after a meal and before the clatter of clearing up.

"I'm taking the Gummi Ship. I expect I'll be gone for at least a month." He had said, not meeting anyone's eyes.

When no one said anything, and the shouts of protest didn't come as he had expected, Leon looked up to find his friends all looking at him in the same way. It was Aerith that voiced the question.

"Where will you start looking?" She had asked, hating the fact that Leon was leaving but needing Cloud back just as badly.

"The Coliseum." Leon stated.

It seemed like the logical place to start.

It took Leon no more than 24 hours to organise himself. By dawn the day after he was ready to depart.

"I'll send word every week." He promised, nodding to each of his friends before his wavering gaze rested on Yuffie. He held her tear stained face in his hands before smiling ever so gently. It wasn't a proper smile, but Aerith still couldn't help but admire it. She watched as Leon hugged the young girl and promise to be back soon.

One month turned into six, and Leon still hadn't come home, and Cloud had still not been found. He had sent word every week like he had promised and the last anyone had heard from him he was in Agrabah, heading on to Halloween Town.

Life without Leon was almost unbearable, and Aerith knew she wasn't the only one who thought so. With their leader gone, the Restoration Committee fell to her and she was finding it incredibly bothersome. How had Leon managed it all?

She thought about him most days and when she wasn't thinking about Leon, she was thinking about Cloud. It caused a knot of dread to tighten in her stomach when she thought about all the possibilities and terrible scenarios that could have befallen her friends.

When Leon finally made it home, alone, it was to a sombre and melancholy greeting. It should have been a happy reunion. The group had been separated for nearly seven months but as Leon disembarked from the Gummi Ship, his face stoically grave; Aerith knew that their little family was changed forever.

It was well over a week before Leon finally broke down. Aerith had expected it the moment he had stepped of the ship, as Yuffie threw herself at the older man, but he had just looked at her and shook his head, his eyes sad and distant as he hugged the young ninja, reassuring her that he was home.

So it shouldn't have been such a shock to find Leon sat on the kitchen floor at 2 o'clock in the morning, pig drunk, but it had taken her a little unawares.

Leon never drank.

She had been in two minds about whether to turn back around, creep upstairs to bed, glass of water forgotten and forget she had ever seen him. But the soft sniffs and shuddering breaths decided for her. She padded softly into the room, picking up a comforter along the way and reached for a glass off the draining board. She sat herself down next to the quietly sobbing Gunblader, back propped against the cupboards and spread the comforter out over their laps.

She reached out and poured herself a glass of whiskey from the bottle that Leon had been bogarting; not forgetting to top up Leon's glass as well, before settling herself in next to him. She was more than happy to just sit there with Leon and get drunk with him, if that was what he wanted.

She took a large swallow and grimaced.

"This is foul." She said, fighting back a coughing fit.

"You don't taste it 'fter a bit." Leon slurred, draining his glass and pouring himself another.

It was a long time before Leon said anything else, but eventually his tired cracked voice broke the silence.

"How could he jus' disappear?" He asked, another wave of tears escaping his red puffy eyes. He bowed his head, ashamed of himself. It was almost too much when he felt Aerith take his hand and rest her head on his shoulder, his silent pillar of strength at his lowest moment.

"I don't know." She whispered.

There had been many things that had happened in their short lives that had made Aerith wonder at the universe. She alone was far too small and insignificant to have the answers Leon wanted, but she had seen enough to know that hope was often the best weapon anyone ever had. She wisely decided not to say this to Leon. She didn't think he would want to hear it.

"Ya know…" Leon gave a little hiccup and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, spilling some of the whiskey on his trousers. "I never told him I loved him."

It was the first time anyone had referred to Cloud in the past tense and it made Aerith's heart clench to hear it. She lifted her head and looked at her friend, gently brushing away his bangs so that she could softly caress his damp cheek. She saw Leon's brow knit together and the struggle to remain composed was evident.

"I'm sure he knew." She offered, hoping it would be enough. It was getting harder and harder to hold back her own tears.

Leon shook his head, fresh tears falling. They had never really stopped.

He couldn't say anything more before the huge shuddering sobs tore through him, and he dissolved into a quivering gulping mess in Aerith's arms.

She held him for a long time before his weeping finally dried up. She managed to coax him off the floor and led him, stumbling and disorientated to bed.

He slept that whole next day, and all through the next night.

When Aerith finally went to wake him on the second morning, she made sure to bring him coffee.

Life after that, pretty much returned to normal. Or as normal as it could get with a gaping hole where Cloud should have been. It was strange for such a glaring absence to be felt so keenly yet no one dared speak of it, especially around Leon. It was like Cloud had ceased to be, not only in physical form but in memory and thought also. Aerith grew more and more troubled by Leon's reticence, it was even more acute than normal. Despite many attempts she could not get him to open up to her the way he had done when he was smashed out of his skull, and she had a feeling he wouldn't be doing that again…ever!

As if it wasn't bad enough to lose one friend, Aerith thought she might be losing another.

Almost a year to the day after Leon returned; Cloud finally came home.

The Restoration Committee were out in the third district repairing the old ice cream shop, moving rubble from the charred remains when Aerith heard the ecstatic yell of surprise from Yuffie. She heard the young ninja shout the man's name clear as day, and as she raced to the door of the old shop she cast her gaze down the street to see the blond swordsman walking towards them.

He was alone and looked no different from the last time Aerith had seen him and her heart felt like it would literally beat from her chest as she watched Yuffie charge towards him and barrel him over with a fierce and greedy hug.

He welcomed her with wide open arms and lifted her off the ground as he hugged her back. Aerith though he heard him laugh. She was about to spin round and call for Leon when she felt the Gunblader's presence beside her.

She looked up and saw his gaze cast down the street, his face a blank slate of disbelief. She heard a clanking sound and looked down to see that Leon had dropped the pipe he had been fixing in the kitchen. She watched as Leon took a few tentative steps out into the street, drawn to the man that was still hugging the young girl and hadn't noticed him yet.

Cloud lifted his gaze and his eyes locked with Leon's. He carefully set Yuffie down and the gleeful smile slipped from his face along with her. He stood there, motionless and frozen as he regarded his lover.

It had been so long.

Aerith stepped out further into the street and beckoned for Yuffie to come out of the way, just as Leon began to walk towards Cloud. It was a slow, unsure amble at first that gradually turned into a run. Cloud met him half way as they crashed into each other, arms rapped round each other, the force of their reunion bringing them both to their knees.

Within seconds they were trading fiery kisses, each holding the others face, not daring to believe that the moment was real.

Leon pulled away first, running his fingers over Cloud's face, mapping every feature as he tried to regain his breath.

"Where have you been?" He asked breathlessly, the vehemence evident in his voice.

Cloud clung to the older man, bowing his head in mute apology and a silent prayer for forgiveness. When he looked back up his eyes were bright with tears.

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me." He confessed.

Aerith watched as Leon pulled Cloud into another crushing embrace, his nose nuzzled into the blond man's temple, his fingers crushing Cloud's body to him.

Leon was smiling, his face beaming wide with the grin of a man whose world had been returned to him.

Aerith had never seen Leon smile like that before. The tears she had seen before, once. But now they were in happiness, his dazzling smile a beautiful countenance for his laughter.

Leon was laughing, his relief so purely vocalised.

"I'm sorry." She heard Cloud whisper as he returned Leon's bruising grip.

Leon's laughter had turned to a sob and he pulled away to grip the younger man's face in his hands, not caring one bit that the grime from his work was staining his pale face. He shook his own head.

"Just don't ever leave again." He chastised, kissing him full on the mouth.

Aerith blushed to watch her two normally private and enigmatic friends so openly passionate. She took hold of Yuffie and turned them both away from the intimate scene, against Yuffie's incessant protests. Just before she stepped out of ear shot she took one last look behind her to see Leon pull Cloud into another brutal hug.

"I love you." she heard him whisper.

She told Yuffie to run back and find Cid, Merlin and Tifa. They had a lot to celebrate tonight.


	2. Lovers Eyes

**A/N**** This is beta'd by the lovely sneakyrevernant and dedicated to Windform who asked for it in the first place. I think he deserves some fluff after my last couple of fics.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, all characters belong to Square Enix, all lyrics belong to Mumford and Sons. No infringement intended.**

**Lover's Eyes**

"I do not ask the price I've paid,

I must live with my quiet rage.

Tame the ghosts in my head,

That run wild and wish me dead.

Should you shake my ash to the wind,

Lord forget all my sins.

Or let me die where I lie,

'Neath the curse of my lover's eyes."

* * *

"At some point, you're going to have to let me go."

Leon was determined that he wasn't!

The warm space that they had created for themselves in tussled blankets and tangled limbs was hard to fight against and the warmth of Cloud's body was even harder.

Leon sighed softly as Cloud slid from his body, their lovemaking done; for the moment at least. He helped the smaller man settle himself on his side, his back to the Gunblader's, the older man's leg thrown over Cloud.

"I beg to differ!" Leon drawled, curling his body round Cloud's and pressing his face in between the younger man's shoulder blades.

Cloud smiled secretly into the crook of his arm, tugging Leon's arm across him a little bit more.

After the celebrations of two nights before, the lovers had yet to surface. They didn't count it much of a problem; missing a couple of days work, considering the circumstances. Radiant Garden would carry on without them.

"I think I need food." Cloud admitted at length.

"Now?" Leon asked, raising himself up onto his elbow and looking down at his dozing lover.

"Soon." Cloud replied sleepily, nodding his head. Leon's heart swelled at the sight, and he bent to kiss him, his lips gently brushing the shell of his ear and temple.

After the comfortable silence had lingered enough, Leon brushed the feathered blond spikes from Cloud's eyes.

"You will tell me, won't you?" He asked, trying to keep his tone casual even though his burning desire to know where Cloud had been was all but consuming him. "Eventually, I mean?"

He heard the gentle sigh and watched Cloud turn slightly to look up at him. There was so much in his subtle gaze that Leon had trouble deciphering it. Pain, regret and love the most dominant. It made Leon's heart swell anew, for totally different reasons.

"Eventually." Cloud promised. And despite Leon's own anxiety he was satisfied. He leaned in and kissed the blond, making sure to keep his lips soft and sensual. His hand that was draped over Cloud's waist began to massage lazy circles over his stomach and then lower. He grasped his young lover's cock as Cloud moaned into his mouth. Apparently they weren't done quite yet.

Leon kept his hand easy and his strokes long and deliberate, his kisses matching the pace. He felt Cloud smile against his lips.

"Again?" The blond chuckled, hard in seconds despite himself.

Leon just smirked.

He brought Cloud to orgasm softly and patiently, watching every tiny flicker of emotion that fluttered across the young man's face. These moments of unguarded bliss were so rare. He loved the way that Cloud reached round with his free hand, massaged Leon's buttocks and pressed their bodies together as he lay there and accepted the pleasure of Leon's hand. He loved the way Cloud's brows creased when Leon ran his thumb over the slit of the blond's shaft, his head thrown back just a little. He kissed Cloud's shoulder, needing to feel the blond's skin against his lips, needing to hear the delicious little moans and sighs as Cloud told him in their own private way how he loved him. He could have ground his own aching cock into Cloud's backside, letting the younger man's writhing body bring him friction and release, but this was about Cloud, and although Leon wanted him, badly, he wanted to watch him like this, totally relaxed and giving himself over to pleasure.

Leon watched as Cloud came, his head thrown back, his body arched beautifully off the bed. Cloud in the throws of passion was something Leon could never see enough.

In the minutes that followed, while Cloud worked through the tiny shudders, Leon cleaned his hand and returned to Cloud's side, gliding his fingers along the planes of his chest and luxuriating in the feel of his skin.

Cloud opened his eyes and smirked up at the Gunblader.

"Are you trying to set a record?" He asked. He'd never let on, mainly because he wouldn't know how to, but he loved the way Leon looked at him in these moments. He felt so loved.

"We've been up here for two days. I think the records already been set." Leon replied wryly, bending to kiss Cloud's smiling mouth.

Long moments passed as they kissed, re learning everything about each others embrace that time had torn away from them. It was like hearing an old song, long forgotten, their meaning clear in each brush of warm pliant lips.

_I missed you._

"Ready for food yet?" Leon asked after an age of kissing and lazy exploration. Cloud nodded and looked over to the clock. It was late; no one would be up.

"I'll go make us something. Wait here." Leon said imparting one last kiss before dressing and leaving for the kitchen.

* * *

It was in the dark depths of the night, just before dawn when Cloud finally spoke.

"I went back to The Coliseum." He admitted, knowing Leon was awake and listening. "I thought if I could find Hades then I'd find Sephiroth." Cloud turned onto his side, facing his older lover who was watching him with large accepting eyes.

"Turns out Hades was looking for me."

There was a flicker of something that passed behind his eyes that happened so fast, Leon barely caught it; didn't even know if it had happened.

"He said my contract wasn't over, that I still belonged to him." Cloud pillowed his head with his fisted hand, wanting to reach out and grasp Leon's but all of a sudden feeling shy and unsure.

"I tried to fight, but..." He took a big breath, thoughts and memories whirling in his mind.

"He sent me back to the underworld, to Hell, to serve the rest of my contract." Cloud looked up at Leon, his eyes imploring the older man for forgiveness. He tried in that moment to tell him how sorry he was. Sorry that he hadn't fought harder, sorry that he hadn't won. Sorry that he'd left him.

"You've no idea how desperate I was to get back to you."

Leon reached out then and took Cloud's tightly fisted hand, encouraging him to relax, wanting him to know that it was all right.

"I was in Hell." He whispered as Leon scooted closer and enveloped him in a hug. He ducked his head under the older man's chin and returned the embrace, clutching his lover to him. He would never be able to get over Leon's capacity for understanding. His patience. It was something he'd be eternally great full for. He was relaxed in the embrace, feeling safe and loved and home again when he felt the rumbled reply through Leon's chest.

"Me too."

* * *

"Cos there's no drink or drug I've tried

To rid the curse of these lover's eyes

And I feel numb beneath your tongue

Your strength just makes me feel less strong."

**Lovers Eyes - Mumford and Sons**


End file.
